Not gonna happen
by MWOYoYo32
Summary: this is a random story I made when I was bored, and will only be updated when I get bored, some chapters will be disturbing, some will be funny, some will be sad, and manny more emotions. if you do not like visual things I sugest you dont read.
1. Chapter 1

_**I don't own kung fu panda **_

_**And incase anyone is wondering why all my fics so far all have crane in them the answer is I don't know but he is honestly not my fav in fact tigress is. This is just something I made when I was bored so it might be a little stupid and random, but I don't care that's what makes this one funny (just so you know I'm not insulting the crane/tigress pairing just because this is a comedy) I am not the biggest fan of this pairing but that doesn't mean I cant still write it .. also I have no problem with it, in my mind it could actually work out but its not at the top of my favorites list in fact po/tigress is so without further a do I will stop rambling about insignificant things and get on with the story (therefore letting you get on with your life)**_

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One day everyone who was an inhabitant of the jade palace was on a mission except for Crane and Tigress. They were both in the training room at the time and neither of them knew about the random day they were about to have.

"hey Tigress, you seem to be working pretty hard over there" Crane said while stopping his training to talk to her.

"yea so" Tigress replied in a sort of bitchy tone.

"nothing " Crane said casually.

Then Crane saw Tigress getting off the equipment and went to help her, taking her paw in his hand he said "here let me help you off" only earning a whack in the head, as Tigress left the training room.

Following her out Crane called after her "hey Tigress!, I'm bored, wanna hang with me?"

"why should I" came the reply of Tigress.

"because … I'm bored …. And kinda want you in your bed so I can play doctor on you" Crane said earning another, harder, whack on the head, once again he fell to the ground and Tigress walked away.

As Crane picked himself up he went to find Tigress, when he spotted her at the sacred peach tree of heavenly wisdom, walking up to her, before he could say a single thing she asked "what do you want now!?"

"nothing!, just wanted to see what you where doing"

"standing" came the reply of a very pissed off Tigress.

"oh" Crane said looking at the ground.

Tigress then realized that even though he had been hitting on her all day she still didn't have to hurt his feelings, so she walked up to him and gave him a hug.

Crane took advantage of the situation and squeezed her but as a joke, getting a slap twice across the face.

Laughing his face off he pushed Tigress to the ground and got on top of her, giving her a as he called it "sexyfying" look.

Tigress looked into his eyes, and they started making out.

After they broke apart Tigress said "I cant believe, I just did that!"

Then Crane said "so you wanna go to your room and do it?"

Then Tigress said "ah, sure, why not"

So they both left to Tigress's room.

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_**Ok yea I know I took both of them, mainly crane, WAY out of character and it was very random, it also didn't have much of a story line I just put down random things that came to mind as I typed. So If you could NOT mention any of that in a review that would be fantastic … remember I was very very bored when I wrote this.**_

_**Thanks for reading bye bye now!**_


	2. away we go

**_alright so I decided to make those other chapters for this story and this is the first one and it is going to be short so bare with me here I`ll have some others up in time, just remember I have got other stories to take care of that are more important im my mind than this one, so hold on to your hat ( or whatever you wear that miht be blown off ) hope you enjoy (disclamer: I do not own kung fu panda) and away we go!_**

"so, how do we start?" asked Tigress siting on her bed "like this" Crane said taking off his pants and wlking over to Tigress "oh" Tigress said taking off her cloths and geting up so it was easier fo rthe bird to, "do his job".

after about 30 minutes Shifu and the rest of the five came home, and just when they all wanted to take a rest and Shifu came along to look for Crane and Tigress, this is what they heard "ooooh!...uh...mmm..Crane!" *pant* "Tigress" *pant*..........thats when they all left with looks of shoke on their face unable to say anything.

"oh, maybe I..should...uh, have..thought of this.. ssooooner" Tigress managed to squeeze out between breaths "ah so you are enjoying yourself heh heh" Crane panted out "more like enjoying you" Tigress said. Crane thrusted forward even harder as he started to .. how should I say this .. "let it out" ( no I have never had sex so I have no idea if what I just said made sense or not ) Tigress was to busy enjoying the moment to even notice how crazy he was going.

after about 30 more minutes Crane and Tigress were on the floor panting, but since Tigress had agreed to this she wasnt going to let it end so fast. Tigress rolled over ontop of Crane and stared him in the eyes while she had her hand on his ... um ... thingy merbober, " I guess we're not done here yet" Crane said with a laugh "nope" Tigress answered and she began to crawl downward towards what her hand was holding. First licking around the base she started to lick up the whole thing and eventually stuck it in her mouth, the whole time Crane was squirming and squeeking.

When Tigress was done with him he flipped her on her back and began doing the same to her, exept since she is a girl he had to put his tounge right up. after that was done I am not going to get into but I can tell you this .. they were in huge trouble in the morning.


	3. how the heck

**hello my friends this is very short, as I wanted it to be short, short and sweet is the way to** **go for alot of things like this, so I hope you like XD**

One day Crane was doing some art work in his room, when po came in and sat down beside him. "Hello Crane" Po greeted, "hello" Crane said back "so what have you been doing today?" Crane asked noticing how the panda was just siting there, "ah nothin, just the usual" Po replied "I see you take alot of interest in art, I thought you just did it when you were bored" Po said looking at the beautiful peace of artwork in front of him, "nope, I really do love to make art, its my favorite hobbie" Crane said finishing his picture, "so I heard you like Viper, is that true?" Po asked with a sly smile, Crane looked shocked at first but then settled down and said "yea, I'm planning on asking her out today", "oooooooohhhh, shes gonna flip" Po said, exited that his friend was actually gonna ask out the girl he liked, "really?, y-you think so?, l-like in a bad way?. Man I dont even know if she likes me!, she is probibly gonna be so mad!" the currently non-confident bird said, holding his head in both his wings, "no man1, I mean in a good way!, she realy likes you, she was just telling me earlier, in fact, she doesnt think that you like her!" Po told the hyperventalating bird in front of him, Crane calmed down, he took a deep breath, then said " seriously?, hhhh, fine, I'll go talk to her later", "no, you'll go talk to her now!" Po shouted while trying to drag Crane out of his room, "Po, stop, alright I'll go now, just let go!" Crane shouted back. Right when Po stopped pulling Crane gave a forcful tug to try and get loose, accidentally pulling Po ontop of him. Landing on his back he found Po starring him in the eyes, "Po what are you?..", before the avian could finish his question he found himself sharing a deep kiss with the panda, verry shocked and confused Crane let out a small shriek, but in a few seconds relaxed into the kiss, soon it turned into making out when Po stuck his tounge in Cranes mouth and Crane returned the favor, a few seconds after that they both realised what they where doing and broke apart, each one running to the opposite side of the room from the other as fast as possible, shocked and scared looks on both of their faces, a bit later, it was then that Crane spoke "I-I think, I will g-go to the peach tree and find Viper", then he left, and Po shouted after him "y-yea, good idea, tell me how it goes, heh, heh, aaahhh" after saying that he lowered his ears and smacked himself in the face mumbleing to himself words of self loathing for the recent event that just passed.


End file.
